BYM Expectations and support for role holders – Elders and pastoral support team

Traditionally the first concern of elders is for the nurture of the spiritual life of the group as a whole and of its individual members so that all may be brought closer to God and therefore to one another, thus enabling them to be more sensitive and obedient to the will of God. So the right holding of our meetings for worship will be their particular care. The chief concern of overseers is with the more outward aspects of pastoral care, with building a community in which all members find acceptance, loving care and opportunities for service. Qf&p 12.11

We hope that although this document is rigorous, it will also be helpful as it outlines both the expectations and support offered for those serving as Elders or as part of the Pastoral Support team and provides guidance on good practice in these roles.

As Elder or Pastoral Support Team member, you are expected to:

In your role 

  • Act as a role model being aware of the impact you may have on others.
  • Understand your responsibilities and work within the agreed procedures.
  • Work effectively with others and undertake training or update knowledge as required.
  • Model appropriate inclusive values and behaviours in line with BYM’s Equality Policy
  • Understand the need for confidentiality as well as the need to share information respectfully and as necessary within the agreed communication structure.
  • Not make inappropriate promises particularly in relation to confidentiality.

In your relationships

  • Treat all with equity and act with fairness, respect, dignity, and integrity.
  • Demonstrate empathy.
  • Establish safe, trustworthy relationships within appropriate boundaries. Understand and maintain boundaries appropriate to your role.
  • Build relationships with those who may exhibit difficult behaviour by understanding the causes of and demonstrating appropriate responses to such behaviour.

In your methods

  • Be open, transparent, and non-judgemental. Have proper regard for everyone’s interests, rights, safety, and welfare.
  • Listen carefully to those you are supporting and always seek advice from someone with wider experience when necessary
  • Appropriately challenge situations where action is not being taken.
  • Recognise when YOU need support and seek it appropriately.
  • Recognise your personal feelings about a situation and deal with them effectively.
  • Be aware of power dynamic and the power you may have.
  • Be aware of the responsibilities you have for the welfare of children, young people, and vulnerable adults.

    • In your work

    • Attend planning, preparation meetings and any agreed team meetings
    • Request help and resources as needed but in time for this help to be forthcoming.
    • Ensure you have enough rest and refreshment to be able to meet your responsibilities.
    • Do not consume alcohol, illegal substances or smoking whilst actively carrying out the role.
    • Recognise that it is unacceptable to engage in any behaviour which might allow sexual and/or intimate relationships to develop as a result of providing pastoral support.
    • Do not share your personal and/or social media contact details with anyone under 18 or with any adult who you know to be unable to protect themselves from the risk of abuse or neglect.
    • Bullying, emotional abuse, harassment, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, or sexual abuse (including inappropriate physical contact and inappropriate language or gestures) are not acceptable.
    • Work in an open environment – avoid private or unobserved situations to maintain the integrity of the supportive relationship and to reduce the risk of unfounded allegations of abuse being made against you.
    • Implement the same good practice in online environments (Zoom and other online meeting spaces, social media, email) as in physical, in-person environments.
    • Remember you are a role model and keep to community agreements set for the event.
    • Abide by the BYM policies, procedures and guidance.
    • Respect that BYM staff have legal responsibilities for the safe holding of the event.
    • Recognise that if these expectations are not upheld, you may be released from service in this role.

    BYM Staff will in addition to the above:

    • Build supportive relationships with role-holders.
    • Offer training and guidance on policies and procedures.
    • Provide support with the role as required.
    • Follow the process for handling comments, suggestions, and complaints.
    • Provide adequate insurance and conditions that meet health and safety requirements.
    • Ensure role holders are appointed within the BYM recruitment and safeguarding policies.

    Promptly report any breach of these expectations or any disclosures, concerns or allegations, to the BYM Safeguarding Officer (Mark Mitchell) immediately at  safe@quaker.org.uk or by phone on 020 7663 1103.

    The BYM Safeguarding Officer will signpost you to other sources of support or advice if appropriate and should be your first point of contact.